Answer

I bumped into the daughter of an old friend…. over a coffee, we had a chat.

“I really don’t want to stop. Really. You know, Mum and Gran. Both nurses.”

“Dad’s retired but when he worked on the ambulances… that’s how they met… mum and dad… she was working in A&E… but you know all that.”

We laughed.

“... but I can’t see how I can…“

She leaned forward in her seat, drew her legs under the chair and looked into the distance.

“I just don’t see how I can. I’m on the Bank, do extra, and I’ve started with an agency, doing a care home… they are so nice… want me to go full time.”

“I don’t know what to do really.“

“If I left I’d feel like I’d be letting everyone down. I could go full time on the Agency and work here. Some of the others have done it.”

“They’re a bit sheepish about it but I don’t blame them.“

“We’re all in the same boat. mortgages, kids, child care…”

“Mum helps out but you know, well… she’s not getting any younger and the oldest can be a handful.”

She folded the empty sugar packet over and back into a neat little fan. Looked directly at me and said;

‘What would you do…’

I wasn’t prepared for that. What would I do. If I were a nurse, with a family, a husband working for the Council, a mortgage deal about to run out and the repayments set to go through the roof. 

What would I do.

Thankfully, she didn’t wait for a reply.

She put the plastic top back on the coffee cup, as if to put a lid on her problems.

Skinny as a rake, blonde hair dragged back into an elastic band. Eyes deep in dark recesses that said; knackered.

“When I started it was well enough paid. I knew I’d never be rich but it was secure and I enjoyed it. You know, I always wanted to do it…”

Yup, since you were a little girl. We smiled, remembering how she bandaged her Teddy Bear… until he looked like a Mummy!

“Now everything is so expensive, we’re worried sick about the mortgage… and there just aren’t enough of us to do the job properly.”

“The strikes don’t help. I didn’t bother to vote. I know I should but my vote’s not going to make a difference.” 

“My neighbour wanted to know why I was on strike…” at least you’ve got a job, he said.

“I tried to explain but it didn’t wash. He’s not spoken to us since.”

“I really don’t know… what would you do?”

That question again.

She leaned back in the chair took a breath and wrapped her cardigan tight around her, crossed her arms… she didn’t wait for my answer… 

“I’ll have to go on the Agency. It’s more money. Do you know what will happen to my pension?”

Before I could answer, she shifted in her seat…

“It’ll be years before I get a pension… by the time I do they’ll have found a way not to pay it. Anyway, I can do without paying the contributions.”

“Mum says I should do what’s best for us. I can always go back to the NHS when things are better… whenever that might be.”

“It’s such a mess. No one has the time to do the job properly.“

“There’s a lot of talk about vacancies, and there are, but no one seems to realise the patients are a lot more poorly than they used to be.”

“They’re in for longer and we can’t get them home… there’re no social-packages… they take ages to organise.”

“Do you know, some of them don’t want to go home. They feel safe on the ward… people to talk to… company.”

“It’s such a mess. The bed manager comes around pleading with the doctors to discharge people. That’s not right.“

“I dread the school holidays. The school do trips and stuff but they’re not cheap. I’ll have to go with the agency… it’ll make it easier to fit everything in…”

“… what would you do?”

That question. What would I do…

Her phone beeped…

She flicked the screen, looked up and said; “John’s here. He’s parked on the yellows. I’ll have to go. Thanks for listening… I’ll tell Dad to give you a ring.”

Saved. Thanks John. Thank you parking restrictions.

I was left with the coffee cup and a neatly folded, empty sachet of sugar.

How typical is this? Dunno.

I do know, this daughter, mum, this wife, this nurse in the prime of her life is weighed down with worry. Dog-tired. And, it’s not right.

It shouldn’t be like this.

I watched her grow, study, qualify, blossom as a young woman with so much promise.

It shouldn’t be like this.

I have no answer.

Have the best weekend you can.

News and Comment from Roy Lilley
Contact Roy – please use this e-address roy.lilley@nhsmanagers.net
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